


The Doppelganger

by beaglesinbowties (Girlblunder)



Series: One shots: Alternate Universe [4]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, F/F, Friendship, Mild Sexual Content, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-03 19:39:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8727658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Girlblunder/pseuds/beaglesinbowties
Summary: Alex is unnerved when she sees a woman on the train that looks oddly like the now-famous Kara Zorel, but she knows it's just one of those things. She goes on about her life as much as she can, but her fascination persists as she sees the woman more. The truth of the matter is only the beginning.Celebrity AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So many months ago I received a prompt for this. I made it into a ficlet, which turned into a series of three ficlets. Lately I've been a little distracted by this universe - so much so that I'm unable to work on the current multi-chapter fic I'm *supposed* to be working on. I decided I might as well be productive.
> 
> You'll recognize the first 4k or so if you read my ficlet collection. Those ficlets have been edited a bit to fit into this larger story, now extended with the full tale of these two. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

The first time Alex sees her on the train, she thinks maybe she’s been putting in too many hours at the lab. Surely, the resemblance of the woman in ripped jeans and a comfortable pullover is purely coincidental to the actress that - and Alex won’t admit it out loud even on a good day - she might actually have a little bit of a crush on.

The blonde hair only partially hidden by a worn Superman ball cap is straight and roughly the same shade Alex can last remember seeing in the posters for the fantasy blockbuster movie that had finally gotten Kara Zorel noticed. Alex had been a fan since an ex-girlfriend had dragged her to some indie festival and she’d been entranced by Kara’s portrayal of a young woman struggling with bulimia after years of participating in beauty pageants.

That’s another thing Alex won’t say out loud, though it is certainly true that she’s been a fan of Kara Zorel’s for quite some time. She shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot and avoids looking in the direction of the doppelganger again.

*

The second time Alex sees the not-Kara on the train, Alex is admittedly tired and definitely on the verge of delirious. There’s deadlines looming and her research funding is at risk of being pulled if she doesn’t have thorough evidence to present. The results have been promising so far, but she wants to be _sure_ before the investors drop by to consider additional funding.

The only thing that saves Alex from appearing to stare is that when she’s slumped against the side of her seat, her short hair falls perfectly to hide her searching looks.

*

Alex doesn’t see the doppelganger again for a while, and she’s not sure if that’s because she’s finally well rested again or perhaps she’d ended up creeping out the mysterious woman after all.

Days pass in a sense of monotony - especially on the train where the rhythmic sound and feel of its passage leave the people on board wondering and hoping their stop is sooner than they remember.

“Excuse me,” Alex says on one such boring day. She usually doesn’t bother with niceties on the platforms, but some habits die hard.

She frowns when her comment does little to make room for her to pass. The formula she’s been working out in her head is forgotten as she glares at the people blocking her way.

Her pointy elbows come in handy where niceties have failed, and she maneuvers through some of the crowd only to find the bottleneck is caused by not-Kara looking uncomfortable surrounded by a tight half circle of teenagers. The wall behind her prevents any easy escape.

“You’re her, aren’t you?” a petite brunette asks excitedly.

Not-Kara grips the strap of her backpack tighter. “Sorry?”

“Oh, come on,” a tall boy with scraggly facial hair says, “we _know_ you’re her!”

Though Alex firmly believes that celebrities should get used to a certain lack of anonymity, it’s also clear to her that there’s a time and a place for approaching such celebrities. Famous or not, everyone should have the option to peacefully go about their day. Not-Kara shouldn’t be punished for merely _looking_ like someone famous.

It’s such thoughts that have her stepping forward and speaking when she normally might not - it’s not that she hates confrontation, but rather she hates wasting energy needlessly. She blames her apathy on too many years spent living in National City.

“Melissa!” Alex calls out as she elbows her way past the scraggly-faced boy. “What are you still doing here? You know Uncle John will kill us if we’re late again!”

Not-Kara blinks at her in surprise.

 _Come on, be an actress for just a minute!_ Alex widens her eyes and nods to help the idea along.

“Please tell me he didn’t bring up last Christmas,” Not-Kara says with a pained look.

It takes considerable willpower for Alex not to smile. “He did,” she deadpans, “and then he started going on about his poor heart.”

“Of course he did,” Not-Kara says with a put-upon sigh.

Alex nods along, and then turns to blink at the confused looking teenagers. “Were these kids trying to mug you or something?”

The petite brunette that had seemed so excited before blushes, and she begins tugging at her friends’ arms. “No, sorry. There was just some confusion. Have a nice day!”

The group hurriedly flees, and then Alex and Not-Kara are nearly swept away in the suddenly rushing crowd again.

Not-Kara gives her a smile and then is lost in the crowd.

Alex mourns the missed opportunity to at least learn the doppelganger’s name, but she shrugs after a moment and grins. The monotony of her day is broken, and Not-Kara had smiled at her for the first time. If Alex didn’t know any better, she’d say the even and captivating smile had _certainly_ belonged to Kara Zorel.

*

Alex is frowning down at her notebook some days later, trying to decipher her own scribbles when a voice interrupts her.

“Excuse me?”

The words have to be repeated for Alex to realize that she’s being addressed.

“Ye–es?” The simple word is unnaturally drawn out when she glances up and sees that it’s Kara’s doppelganger standing so close and looking down at her.

“I hate to interrupt you, but I just wanted to thank you for the other day.” Not-Kara is wearing the worn ball cap again and when she tilts her head, Alex thinks that this woman’s eyes are far bluer than Kara Zorel’s are.

Alex moistens her lips when she realizes that she’s supposed to say something. “It’s no problem. People in this city can be a nuisance.”

“They’re not all bad,” Not-Kara replies, “but sometimes…”

The wince makes Alex chuckle because she gets it. “I have a love/hate relationship with the city myself.”

Not-Kara’s lips curl up in a slight smile, and Alex thinks that maybe _this_ one is her favorite. It’s secretive and promising, and Alex’s heart is pumping embarrassingly fast in her chest at the sight of it.

“So I was thinking; to show you how much I appreciate your kindness, I want to offer to buy you a sticky bun.” Not-Kara leans against the shiny metal pole to her left as she waits for Alex’s response.

“A sticky bun?” Alex gives her a surprised look.

Not-Kara laughs, making her nose scrunch up adorably. “I promise you, I know the best place in the entire city to get them.”

“When you put it like that, how could I possibly say no? Fair warning, I will be _greatly_ disappointed if they are, in fact, _not_ the best sticky buns in the entire city.” Alex’s face hurts from smiling, but she really can’t help the effect this woman is having on her.

“You’ll love them,” Not-Kara says after more laughter.

“Confidence, good. You’ll be needing that.” Alex pauses, entranced by the delight on Not-Kara’s face. “By the way, I’m Alex.”

She reaches out a hand politely, pleased when it’s immediately accepted.

“Nice to meet you, Alex. I’m Kara.”

Alex freezes and stares at Not Not-Kara with wide eyes. “What?”

*****

Alex Danvers is a simple person grounded in the logic of science and reality. She’s never been much prone to flights of fancy, though her mind excels in her chosen field. It’s not that she’s totally without imagination, she just chooses to use it in a way that will help advance her research.

Her modus operandi leaves her ill prepared to face the fact that she, Alex Danvers, has found herself in a situation straight out of fiction.

It’s not the small table tucked away in the corner of the restaurant she’s never been to before or the gently steaming sticky bun waiting neatly in front of her that’s particularly out of the ordinary, no. Instead, it’s the woman seated across from Alex that makes the moment inexplicably extraordinary.

“You’re not going to try it?” Kara says around her own mouthful of sticky bun.

Perhaps Alex shouldn’t be surprised at how normal Kara Zorel is, gleefully munching on what is undoubtedly one of her favorite treats. Alex understands that Kara Zorel is a human just as she is, and is composed of generally the same elements - though perhaps in very slightly different proportions.

Still, she’d never imagined sitting across from her lone celebrity crush. In person. Intentionally. Upon that celebrity crush’s personal invitation.

“Sorry, I kind of spaced out there for a minute. It looks delicious.” Alex picks up her fork and knife. The sticky bun does look delicious, it’s just really unfortunate that her stomach is knotted with anxiety.

She cuts methodically into the treat, the warm saccharine scent hitting her nose before the tidbit reaches her mouth. It’s buttery and sweet, and Alex really _does_ like it. “It’s good,” she admits as she chews.

Kara’s smile is large and potent, and Alex tries to slow her heart by analyzing the neuropeptides that facilitate her return smile. The mix of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins help her relax. Kara really is quite good at what she does with such an effective smile.

When Kara reaches up to push her loose hair back behind her ear, Alex forgets her analysis and sits in silent awe of how attractive Kara is, just like this. Alex doesn’t mean up close and personal, though there’s that too, but rather relaxed and mostly without makeup in the ragged jeans and loose t-shirts Alex has seen her in numerous times on the train.

Alex goes through the motions of eating her sticky bun, though her eyes are repeatedly drawn to her companion.

“You know who I am, don’t you?” Kara asks after one such glance. Her nose is scrunched up adorably as she fidgets with her fork.

Alex considers lying. “Yes, you’re Kara,” she replies matter-of-factly.

Kara’s head angles, mild confusion pulling at her features.

Alex’s smile is secretive. Of course Kara might not understand the significance of that, having not been privy to Alex’s internal debates over the last couple of months. “Kara Zorel,” Alex finishes quietly.

The way Kara’s shoulders slump just slightly make Alex wish she’d lied.

“You’ve seen ‘Defenders of Krypton’.” Kara looks away, mild displeasure on her face.

“No,” Alex admits honestly, “but I saw some posters.”

The startled way Kara’s attention jerks back to her makes another smile pull at Alex’s lips. “I did see you in ‘The Price of Beauty’ some years ago.”

Kara’s face seems to light up as she leans forward. “You’ve seen that? I didn’t think many people did.”

“You’re being modest; it was received very well at the festival here in National City. It made me glad I allowed my girlfriend to talk me into going.” It’s then that Alex freezes, silently conceding that perhaps she’s been spending too much time in the lab and not enough actually interacting with human beings outside of clinical situations.

To her surprise Kara chuckles, seeming even more comfortable than before. “Well, did she see ‘Defenders of Krypton’?”

“Hm, I don’t know. Maybe. I haven’t talked to her in a few years, but I doubt her love for movies has faded.” Alex squints as she tries to remember the last time she’d heard from Lena. Maybe there’d been an e-mail or something two Christmases ago?

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” Kara says, but she’s smiling as she shakes her head.

There’s a warm feeling low in Alex’s stomach. She blinks and then turns back to finishing her sticky bun. The silence is slightly uncomfortable due to Alex’s sudden self-consciousness.

“You don’t remember me, do you?”

The words come as a surprise. Didn’t they just cover this? She frowns at Kara.

“Not from the movies,” Kara says with a shy smile as she looks down at her empty plate. “A little over a year ago I decided to move here since I’d been having a little more success finding work. The first few days weren’t…that great. I’d rented a room at someone’s house, but they kicked me out so a friend could stay there after only a couple of days. I got on the train with all my belongings and I had no clue what I was going to do.”

A memory surfaces in the back of Alex’s mind, but it’s vague. Her eyes widen after a moment. “You were crying.”

Kara nods, her fingers tapping lightly at the table top. “You saved one of my bags from rolling down the aisle and you gave me a pack of tissues. You didn’t say anything, just went right back to your notebook, but that moment of kindness saved me from losing it and turning right back around to head home.”

There’s a powerful feeling in Alex’s chest that she can’t describe, but breathing is difficult and she’s sorry she doesn’t recall the moment with great clarity.

“You know, I’ve been so overwhelmed with the attention that new movie has brought on me that I didn’t recognize you the first few times I saw you. It wasn’t until you came to my rescue on the platform that I realized it was you.” Kara looks directly at Alex now, and Alex is left speechless at the magnetism of the look.

Alex swallows and decides to be honest. “I don’t really remember the first thing too well, but I’m glad you decided to stay in National City.” She pauses. “Although your newfound fame does seem like it can be somewhat problematic.”

“It has its downsides,” Kara says with a shrug, “but nothing can replace the joy I felt the first time a little girl came up to me and said that she wanted to be just like Power Girl.”

Though Alex comprehends that she and Kara have wildly different careers, she appreciates that Kara seems to love her job just as much as Alex does. “That’s a pretty big perk.”

“It is.” Kara sighs happily and leans back in her chair, one hand rising to slide through her hair. “Tell me Alex, what is it that you do that always has you buried in your notebooks?”

“I’m a biomedical engineer at Star Labs,” Alex admits nervously. She doesn’t understand why she’s nervous; she’s a prominent and well respected member in her field, with a promising line of research into stimulating healthy cellular growth to severely damaged tissues with a device she and her father have been working for years.

Whatever reaction she’s been expecting, it isn’t the excitement she’s suddenly faced with.

“Really?” Kara’s leaning forward again, her hands pressed flatly to the table.

“Yes.” Alex shifts uncomfortably in her chair.

“I just landed a role as bio-technician in a new TV show,” Kara says brightly.

“Oh, that’s interesting.” Alex isn’t sure what else to say.

“Alex, I know we’ve only really just met, but talking to you might be really great research for my role.”

If Alex is a little let down, she doesn’t show it as Kara continues speaking.

“Plus, I don’t know, I feel really comfortable with you, and I was thinking maybe you might want to be friends. I know it’s weird because of the whole celebrity thing so you can say no if–”

“Sure. I’d love to.” Alex’s heart is thumping rapidly again, but she doesn’t second guess herself.

“Yeah?” Kara’s smile is tentative and quite possibly the most beguiling thing Alex has experienced.

“Yeah,” Alex affirms.

She doesn’t argue when Kara takes her hand, or at the ticklish feel of the pen as it traces foreign numbers on her skin. She really could have just saved the number to her cellphone, but there’s something to be said for the warm softness of Kara’s skin against her own and the odd comfort she gets as she looks at the unfamiliar script on her palm.

Kara looks nervous as she caps the pen, biting at her lower lip. “This is kind of a private number, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t give it out to anyone.”

“I’m a fan of privacy myself. I get it.”

They talk only a little more before Alex admits she has to go, and long after they’ve said their goodbyes and Alex has carefully made sure to copy the number to her phone she finds herself staring at her palm and wondering if her day (and the last several hours in particular) are even real.

*****

“Careful, that’s _sharp_.”

Alex has to bite the inside of her cheek when her warning makes Kara jerk backwards from the small display stand.

Kara turns away from the cabinet with a sheepish smile. “Hi. I’m sorry to drop by unannounced, but I had some questions about the notes you sent me.” She pauses and gestures to the tip of the crystal she’d come very close to touching. “And I was curious.”

“It’s a clear quartz phurba dagger. It was a gift from my dad’s best friend.” Alex smiles and carefully reaches out to touch the carved handle. “The blade is much sharper than it looks.”

She can feel Kara looking at her, probably wondering at the incongruity of the object in Alex’s otherwise modern office. “I had an interest in anthropology as a teenager. Hank got into the habit of bringing back little mementos for me. He brought this back from Tibet last year.”

“He must have a cool job,” Kara says as she admires the dagger.

“Something like that.” Alex leans against the cabinet. “You said you had some questions?”

Kara bobs her head, a pseudo-serious look descending on her face. “Yes, right. Um, actually,” Kara swallows and looks away.

Alex tilts her head, a small frown on her face. “Actually?”

“I was thinking we might go out and grab some lunch, and, you know, talk about your notes.” Kara seems to stand taller, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her v-neck t-shirt.

“Oh.” Alex blinks and then raises her wrist to check her watch. It’s a little after twelve. Normally she just grabs something nutritional from the small cafeteria upstairs - when she remembers to eat lunch, that is. The possibility of leaving work has never factored into her schedule.

She finds herself staring at Kara’s guest pass, the dark block letters bold against the white background. There’s no way she’s letting Kara eat at the cafeteria here. The food is far too bland.

Even worse, Kara’s going to start shooting the first episode of her show in a matter of weeks. It means long hours and nearly no opportunities for them to hang out. Alexandra Danvers decides to do something she never does. “Yeah, sure. Where do you want to go?”

The smile that overtakes Kara’s face is contagious. Not only is Alex agreeing to leave work, she’s _happy_ about it.

“I know a place not too far from here. It’s just a few minutes walking.” Kara seems excited now, though her fidgeting hands tucked into the back pockets of her jeans. She seems to almost be vibrating with energy.

It’s all rather distracting for Alex, who finds herself staring. She clears her throat. “Shall we?”

*

Thirty minutes later Alex is tucked away on a wooden park bench, Kara beside her as they eat their Po’boys.

“You know, when you said you knew a place, I didn’t think it’d be a food truck,” Alex admits before she takes another careful bite of her sandwich. Though Alex enjoys food, she hardly indulges in anything that isn’t nutritionally balanced. The beef Po’boy is a new experience, and not one she regrets.

“Oh,” Kara says with wide eyes, “sorry. I didn’t think to ask if this was okay. The food there is just really super good and–”

“Kara, it’s fine. This is delicious.” Alex takes a shaky breath when the words prompt another smile from Kara. Her enjoyment of the experience is only partly due to the food. She’d thought after several meetings with Kara, she’d become immune to Kara’s “star effect” (or so Alex has come to consider it).

“Good–great,” Kara replies, reaching over to squeeze Alex’s arm gently.

Alex’s heart pounds. She forces herself not to lean into the touch, far too cognizant of how marvelous the pressure feels even through her shirt. She licks her lips and forces her attention back to her food. If Kara keeps feeding her like this, she’ll need to change her workout routine. “You wanted to talk about my notes?”

“Oh, right, yeah. I almost forgot.” Kara laughs, her eyes and nose crinkling up.

Alex takes a large bite of her sandwich to avoid saying something embarrassing. It’s quite terrible, being around Kara - reminiscent of Alex’s dreadful crush on the town librarian when she was in high school. She chews slowly as Kara leans over to tug up her messenger bag.

“So I’m really grateful that you’ve shared so many interesting facts about working in a lab, but I’m a little confused. See, we just got our first script…”

At first Alex has a hard time paying attention - she’s really lucky she and Kara have become friends now, and not when her teenage hormones had both her emotions and acne out of control - but it doesn’t take long for her distraction to fade.

“Wh-what? No.” She reaches out for Kara’s script, frowning down at the sheaf of papers. “Do you have a consultant for this at all? Do your writers even _remember_ high school chemistry? That’s not safe.”

She mumbles and scowls as she looks through the documents. “Do they want the lead actress to look like an idiot, or a professional?”

Kara says nothing, and it’s then that Alex considers that perhaps she’s overstepped her bounds. She looks up. Kara is grinning. Again.

“I thought so,” Kara agrees with a nod. “The writers are pretty great, but I think it’s been a long time since any of them stepped foot in any kind of lab.”

Alex laughs, a little forced but mostly relieved. She combs a hand through her hair. “Yeah, I can tell.”

“I was thinking,” Kara says as she pushes against the bench seat with both hands, as if bracing herself, “that since you’re kind of in a lull with work right now that your funding is secured and you’re waiting for the lawyers to work out some stuff, um. You know, I was thinking that maybe it might be cool if you’d consult for the show. Not just for me.”

The offer is nothing that Alex has expected. She’s griped about bad science she’s seen on TV, sure. But working with an actual TV show?

“You’re brilliant, Alex.” The soft words are emphasized by an equally soft hand. On Alex’s knee.

_Brain. Think, brain._

“I really want the show done right, and I know if you’ll help, it’ll be so much better.”

Alex’s voice doesn’t work at first. She clears her throat. “Do your bosses know you want a consultant? I mean, shouldn’t they be finding someone?”

“I’m pretty cool with both the EPs, and I’ve talked Annie’s ear off about you already. She actually asked me to get you to look at this. She wants this done right, too.” Kara taps the script.

“Hm. I am still going to be busy with work, it just won’t be as hectic.” When Kara’s expression falters, she hurries to continue. “But my dad has been kind of nudging me to work a little less now that the most stressful parts with financing are over. We’ve secured the money for additional staff, and…well, I’m trying to say that I wouldn’t mind trying. To help you. With your show.”

Kara squeals with glee; Alex’s only warning before she’s pulled into an exuberant hug.

 _Holy shit, she smells great_. Alex awkwardly returns the hug with one arm, trying not to lose the script in her lap or the remnants of the sandwich in her left hand.

“Oh, sorry!” Kara leans back, her eyes seeming to twinkle. Her cheeks are an adorable pink. “I just got super excited at the thought of us working together more.”

“No, it’s fine. I get it. I think that’s pretty exciting too.”

They hurry to finish their lunch when Alex realizes they’ve been away from Star Labs for nearly an hour, Kara apologizing profusely for monopolizing Alex’s precious time.

It isn’t until Alex is examining a data set some time later that it sinks in that she’s going to be working with _Kara Zorel_ on a television show. Maybe. Possibly. She’s not hired yet, or anything.

She’s unable to stop the warmth that grows and spreads in her stomach at the thought of having a perfectly reasonable excuse to hang out with Kara on set.

*****

Annie ends up hiring Alex at their first official meeting. Kara is pleased, if her smile later is anything to go by.

“I knew it,” Kara says as she claps her hands together. “I just know this is all going to be so much better with you here to help us.”

“If you say so,” Alex replies, though she’s pleased at Kara’s confidence.

“We should celebrate. I’m ordering us both a round of tacos.” Kara turns to get their waiter’s attention with a big smile and a small wave.

Alex snorts and tucks some hair behind her ear. She doesn’t bother arguing with Kara, now used to Kara’s need to have Alex try all of her absolutely favorite foods. It’s charming, really, the way Kara loves to share the things she loves.

The waiter arrives and their orders are taken, and then Kara is leaning back in her chair and giggling to herself.

“What?” Alex asks, a stubborn smile threatening to make her lips upturn.

Kara shrugs and plays with her paper napkin. “I’m just happy.”

“You’re sickening, you know that? No one is this happy, ever. Especially not in National City.” Alex’s stops fighting the smile when Kara laughs.

The goosebumps that prickle at her skin would be embarrassing if she wasn’t wearing a long sleeved shirt, but she can’t help loving the sound of Kara’s laugh.

They’re interrupted when their waiter returns with a container of what, if Alex isn’t mistaken, is a pitcher of Margaritas. She raises both eyebrows at Kara.

“What?” Kara asks as she pours a healthy amount of the mix into the salted glasses the waiter has also left on their table. “We’re celebrating, Alex.”

Alex hesitates at first. She’s taken it easy with alcohol after a very blurry year in college, but she supposes a little won’t hurt. Her brow crinkles with the first taste. “Is this a virgin margarita?”

“Yeah, but they’re so good here. Better than a slushie!” Kara declares brightly.

It’s not difficult for Alex to admit maybe she’s just fallen a little in love with Kara. Alex has never met anyone quite like her. “Are you an alien?” Alex deadpans after a moment of consideration.

Kara laughs and shrugs, leaning over the table.

Alex tries her best to ignore the silky wave of hair that sweeps forward. She calls it a success until she realizes she’s staring at shining blue eyes.

 _No, not there either_ , Alex chides herself when her attention turns to the small smile curling Kara’s lips and just barely exposing white teeth.

“Maybe,” Kara jokes. She rolls her lips together and glances away for a few seconds. Her face is decidedly more serious when she look at Alex again. “Have you ever felt like you were just _meant_ to meet someone? Like, you’re not sure why or how, but...you’re just so _comfortable_ with them that you can’t imagine them _not_ in your life?”

Alex clears her throat. “Perhaps.”

Kara bites her lip and looks down at her drink. She spins it around a few times before looking back up. “I kind of feel that way when I’m with you.” She pauses and makes a face. “Wait, did that sound creepy?”

It takes a moment for the words to sink in for Alex, stunned as she is by the first part. She blinks, unsure of what to say that won’t make her embarrassed. She panics. “Maybe a little, but I’m kind of used to it by now.”

 _Shit_.

Kara’s expression freezes, and then she bursts into a bout of raucous laughter. As she tries to catch her breath, she reaches out to squeeze Alex’s arm. “You’re the best, you know that?” Kara finally manages to say.

And Alex can relax, because she hasn’t messed anything up. She offers Kara a half shrug. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

*

Alex ends up going to meet with the writers once a week, often spending time hanging out with Kara afterward if they both happen to be at work. Some days she wanders onto set anyway after she’s done at Star Labs, usually bearing edible goodies just for Kara.

It’s not a problem for Alex, who maybe likes the break from her own more serious work. Being around Kara just improves her mood in general, though she refuses to evaluate the reasons _why_.

“Alex!” Kara visibly brightens when the current take ends and she finds Alex waiting in the wings.

“Hey,” Alex says with a shrug. She’d taken the time to slip home to change into her favorite jeans and a knit pullover. The nights are always cooler, and the choice in clothes has absolutely nothing to do with how great she knows she looks in them.

Kara rushes over to squeeze her into a hug, stepping back after a moment. Her nose twitches. She looks down to the plastic bags Alex is carrying. “Do I smell potstickers?”

“You do,” Alex concedes with a bob of her head, “and maybe some Jiao Yan Kai.”

Kara brings her hands up to cover her mouth. Her eyes are wide. “Mihoen?” comes the muffled question.

“Yep. Do you have time to eat now?” Alex does her best to seem nonchalant.

“We just wrapped this scene,” Kara says as she gleefully rubs her hands together. “Let’s go to my trailer. I don’t want to share.”

The words make Alex chuckle, but she nods and follows along behind Kara without question.

She doesn’t try to engage in conversation for a while, knowing that Kara will be ravenous after hours of filming.

“Are you going to leave any potstickers for me?” Alex asks after a short while.

Kara nods, still chewing, as she puts the container down. “I left you one,” she says around her food.

“So generous,” Alex replies with a fake gasp. She hastily retrieves the container to eat her single potsticker. Kara might eat it if she doesn’t consume it quickly enough.

Kara snorts and continues eating, slowing after she finishes her first serving of the main courses. She leans back into the small booth seat. “That so totally hit the spot,” she says dreamily.

Alex wipes her mouth with a napkin. “I”m glad.” She crosses her legs under the table and runs a hand through her hair. “You guys almost done filming this ep?”

“Mm, yeah. I have one more scene to film today and then another tomorrow, and then we’re done.” Kara pauses and leans forward to brace her hands against the table. She stares at them for a few beats before clearing her throat. “So Annie and the writers told me something interesting today.”

“Oh yeah?” Alex tilts her head, curious.

Kara moistens her lips, still staring down at the table. “So, they decided the show could use a little more diversity. Apparently I’m going to be getting a love interest. A female love interest.”

Alex can only stare at first. “A...a female...love interest?” She shifts in her seat, crossing her arms after a moment. “Is it like a, I don’t know, gimmick thing or something?”

“No. They’re looking to cast the part soon, hopefully get her introduced as a recurring character at first. Then, maybe, if everything’s received well she could become a series regular.” Kara finally looks up. “Annie really likes you, you know.”

Alex’s cheeks flush. The executive producer had said as much before, though Alex hadn’t realized it was a _thing_. “She’s a pretty cool boss.”

Kara grins. “She wants you to love the show.”

“What a jerk,” Alex quips. There’s a thick feeling in her throat. Annie is blunt but friendly, and Alex does think she’s a great boss. Still, having Annie greenlight a queer romance on the show... Alex is stunned.

Kara leans further across the table, her fingertips brushing Alex’s arms. Alex relaxes so that Kara can tug them forward.

“ _I_ want you to love the show,” Kara admits quietly, her hands gliding down Alex’s arms until they’re loosely clasped over Alex’s.

“I--” Alex attempts around the thickness in her throat, but is interrupted by loud knocking.

Kara is scarcely on her feet when the door opens, ceasing all motion when she sees who’s at the door. “Adam,” she murmurs, sounding surprised.

Alex twists around so she can see the door.

“There’s my girl,” the tall man says as he holds his arms open. He’s good looking, with a chiseled jaw and warm eyes.

Kara takes a hesitant step toward him, glancing back once at Alex before accepting his hug.

“I wasn’t expecting you,” Kara says, sounding breathless. She fidgets with the hem of her shirt.

“Well that’s why they call it a surprise, babe.” He grins at Kara, and runs a hand over his perfectly styled hair as he looks around the trailer. “Oh, you’ve got company.”

“Right, yeah, um. Adam, this is Alex. Alex, this is Adam. My boyfriend.” Kara clasps her hands tightly together, not looking directly at either Alex or Adam.

“Fiancé,” Adam corrects almost right away. “I doubt our parents will find out here, Kara.”

Alex’s smile is almost painfully tight as she stands to accept his handshake. “Nice to meet you.” She can’t look at Kara.

Logically, Alex knows she shouldn’t be upset. She and Kara are just friends.

But...wouldn’t a friend tell another friend something important like having a fiancé? Especially a gay friend who might have just realized she’s been reading way too much into...stuff.

“Nice to finally meet you, too; Kara talks about you a lot.” Adam’s grip is firm, but comfortable. He seems like a really nice guy.

Alex’s stomach twists uncomfortably. _I wish I could say the same_ , she thinks.

“Well, I just came by to bring Kara dinner. I think maybe the two of you could do with a little privacy.” Alex takes a calming breath and gathers her keys.

“Oh, thanks,” Adam says brightly, “I haven’t seen Kara in person for months! Maybe I’ll catch you later again some time.”

“Sure.” Alex worries that if she stays too much longer that her fake smile will become permanent. She finally manages to look at Kara, but diverts her attention elsewhere just as quickly.

Adam settles down at the table. Alex anxiously heads to the door.

Kara follows her. “Alex,” she says under her breath.

It almost sounds like a plea. Alex shakes her head. She’s been reading _way_ too much into perfectly innocent things. “Yeah?” She grasps her keys tightly in both hands, chancing another look at Kara.

“I…” Kara’s mouth opens and closes. She tugs a hand through her hair, again not looking directly at Alex. “I’ll call you.”

Alex only shrugs, intent on getting out of the tiny trailer--and hopefully away from all the stupid feelings she’d really rather forget.

*****

The next week, Alex makes sure to only go to the set when she needs to meet with the writers. Kara probably wants time alone with her fiancé, Alex reasons. It doesn’t mean Alex is avoiding her for any other purpose.

It’s less than ideal to have to listen to the writers discuss Kara’s new romance storyline--though it does amuse Alex how they keep glancing her way to gauge her reaction. It’s kind of nice, though she won’t admit it out loud just yet.

“So, overall, would you say everything checks out?” James asks as they’re wrapping things up.

“The science is fine.” Alex affects an innocent look.

James purses his lips. “And, uh, everything else?”

“I’m not really a writer,” Alex hedges, enjoying the general discomfort in the room, “but, yeah. It’s important not to rush the romance. You could do something most shows always fail at; a nice slow burn relationship that doesn’t happen too quickly _or_ take too long, and in the end the ladies end up together and not dead. Do that, and you will get a massive and devoted following.”

“I’m so glad Annie hired you,” Winn says with a relieved sigh, “I don’t want us to look stupid or insensitive.”

Alex shrugs, because maybe working on the show isn’t the worst decision she’s made. “I think you’re going to do just fine.”

The meeting breaks up soon after that, and Alex is almost smiling as she gathers her notepad and flips it closed.

“Oh, good. You haven’t left yet.”

Alex stiffens only briefly, tucking her notepad away into her messenger bag and taking her time adjusting the straps in lieu of looking. “The meeting ran a little late.”

In the end, Alex can only endure not-looking so long. She tugs the strap of her bag up and onto her shoulder, gripping it too tightly as she turns to the door.

Kara’s dressed in snug ragged jeans and a worn band t-shirt, with her hair up in a messy bun. She’s nibbling on her thumb--and looks irrefutably beautiful.

“I didn’t think you were shooting today,” Alex says when Kara remains silent.

“I’m not,” Kara admits, dropping her hand from her mouth, only to cross and uncross her arms. “Look, I know I should have said something about Adam…”

Alex shrugs. She’s had time to flagellate herself for grossly misunderstanding Kara’s signals, and she’s come to terms with the fact that Kara hadn’t intended to flirt. “It’s fine.”

Kara frowns as she scrutinizes Alex’s face. “Is it? I kind of feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”

“Well,” Alex scratches her face, “not exactly? I kind of thought you’d want some time with Adam, and, well, okay maybe I was a little bit embarrassed. I, I dunno, I thought we were pretty good friends and I didn’t know about him.” It’s not wholly untrue, and Alex really doesn’t want to make things weird.

“Oh man, I’m so sorry. We are good friends! You’re like, the best friend I have here and kind of my hero and--I’m rambling.” Kara raises her hands palms upward and paces a few steps. She stops abruptly. “I really like you, Alex.”

“I like you too, Kara.” Alex is careful not to let herself think. She won’t read into this. Kara isn’t aware how powerful her personality really is, and that’s not her fault.

Kara smiles, a small and tender thing, and then she’s stepping forward and hugging Alex.

Alex can’t resist returning the embrace, taking a deep lungful of Kara’s scent and reveling in the closeness. It’s odd, how Kara makes her so comfortable and _aware_ all at the same time.

“Wanna go out to dinner with me?” Kara asks when the hug ends, a hopeful look on her face.

Something lurches in Alex’s chest. She ignores the feeling. “Sure. What do you have in mind?”

*

The weeks fly by after that, and Alex again grows comfortable in their friendship. Maybe she still finds Kara uncommonly beautiful, but she can normally catch herself before getting lost in some kind of foolish tangent.

“I’m not ready for this,” Kara blurts out as she paces, squeezing her hands in front of herself.

Alex raises an eyebrow at her. “Not ready for what?”

“I can’t kiss her!” Kara exclaims, her eyes wide and her hands trembling. “I-I’ve never kissed a girl before. I’ve only ever kissed two other guys besides Adam, but they were all horrible.” She stops and abruptly faces Alex. “Not Adam, I mean the other guys.”

“It’s really not that different. Nicer, maybe, if you prefer smooth faces and softer lips.” Alex has to purse her lips to avoid smiling. Kara is adorable when she’s nervous.

“I’m going to have a heart attack.” Kara looks wildly around the room, her hands pressed over her heart.

A tinge of concern mixes in with Alex’s amusement. She stand and sighs, walking slowly to Kara and taking her gently by the shoulders. “You’re not having a heart attack. I’m a doctor, I know.”

“You’re not that kind of doctor,” Kara says.

Alex sighs, not wanting to argue semantics. She looks down at Kara’s hands, then back up to her face. “You like her, right? Your co-star.”

“Yeah, but, _Alex_. What if she hates it? I’ve never done it before!”

A vein throbs in Alex’s face. She rolls her eyes, and without any preamble, leans forward and plants a firm, brief kiss on Kara’s lips. “There, now it’s not the first time you’ve ever kissed a woman. _Calm down_.”

Kara does a rather impressive impersonation of a fish, her eyes wide as she fails to get any words out. “Thanks?” she finally says in squeak.

“You’re welcome. Now, you have to be on set soon. Are you okay?” Alex waits patiently, her hands still dropping slightly to grip Kara’s biceps.

“Yes?” The squeak is slightly improved; Kara sounds at least half like her normal self.

“Great, let’s get out there, then.” Alex pulls Kara toward the door, pushing when needed until Kara’s outside of the trailer.

The fresh air must do her some good, because she suddenly takes a shuddering breath and then begins walking on her own.

Alex waits behind for a few moments, her hand rising to her tingling lips. She hadn’t meant to do it, but Kara had been acting so silly.

“You’re not making me do this alone!” Kara suddenly calls back.

Alex laughs despite herself and shakes her head. “I’m coming, I’m coming.”

They make it on time, and there’s an odd tension in Alex as she watches the scene unfold. The tension eases when the director cuts a few times for the speech leading up to the kiss.

It’s funny watching Kara change into another person, especially when she becomes jittery Kara again once the cameras aren’t rolling. Their eyes meet briefly before Kara has to take her mark once more.

The next take goes well, and Alex is breathless as she watches Kara kiss another woman.

“Cut!” the director calls out. “Kara, relax a little. Karen is a little nervous here, but not _that_ nervous. Take a breath. She wants this, she’s wanted this her whole life.”

Kara’s head bobs and she closes her eyes. Her chest moves slowly as she takes a long deep breath and releases it. She nods after a moment.

Alex is unsurprised when the director loves the next take; Alex had only been able to look briefly at the passionate embrace, feeling like a voyeur despite the countless other people on set.

They film for nearly half an hour longer, taking different angles. Alex spends most of the time writing listlessly in her notebook, random thoughts that are keeping her sane.

Kara smiles at her once she’s done, but it’s not as bright as normal. “What did you think?” she asks in a low voice.

“It was,” Alex rubs at her throat, “I think people will like it.”

They don’t say much after that, trudging their way back to Kara’s trailer in silence.

*****

Kara is subdued for a couple of weeks after filming is finished. Alex worries that maybe it has something to do with the spontaneous kiss in Kara’s trailer, but pushes that thought away any time it pops up. It hadn’t meant anything. They’ve hung out a few times since, and Kara hasn’t said anything.

Unfortunately, there’s a mishap that has Kara back on set much sooner than she thought. Alex swings dutifully by with food; Kara’s stuck filming an extra scene required to cover up the lead actress’s injury. It’s not going well if Kara’s face is anything to go by, and Alex only watches a few more takes before heading back to Kara’s trailer.

She’s tired after a long meeting with investors, and she worries that maybe her presence isn’t helping Kara focus.

Alex isn’t sure what to do with herself in Kara’s trailer. Kara could be at it for a while, and…

Well, Kara had once said to treat the trailer as home. Alex slips her shoes off and gingerly lies down on the full size bed. It feels heavenly, and her eyes droop immediately. A small nap won’t hurt.

*

Something soft brushes her face. Alex’s nose twitches. She feels the sensation again, and pries her eyes open. She has to blink the blurriness away, because surely Kara isn’t lying down across from her.

“Hey,” Kara says in near-whisper. There’s a tender smile on her face.

Alex really isn’t ready to see this, to see a mussed and happy Kara upon first waking. She ignores the pounding in her ears and swallows. “Hey.”

The softness brushes Alex’s face again. Kara’s playing with tips of her hair. No big deal.

She swallows again. “You finally finished filming, hm?” Her voice is rough from sleep.

“Yeah,” Kara exhales with a sigh. She continues playing with Alex’s hair. “I wasn’t at my best today.”

Alex considers not asking, but Kara seems relaxed and maybe ready to talk. “You’ve been a little off the last couple of weeks.”

Kara bites her lips and drops her hand from Alex’s hair. “Yeah.”

Alex waits, but Kara seems lost in thought. She tucks some stray hair behind her ear, not wanting to admit she misses the soft tugs. “You want to talk about it?”

She thinks Kara’s going to say no, but then Kara takes a breath.

“Adam and I got together in high school. It was a whirlwind kind of thing, but we loved it. We stayed together the entire time, and he and I started talking about marriage when graduation got closer and closer. Our parents _freaked_.” Kara frowns down at the blanket, tugging at a loose thread.

Alex makes a noncommittal sound in her throat. They still haven’t really talked about Adam, though she figures it’s about time. It’s not as horrible as she thought it would be, at least.

“They said we were too young, that we were rushing into things, and they wouldn’t support us getting married so young because we didn’t know what we were getting into.” The thread is curled around Kara’s finger and released, and then she’s looking up at Alex. “I...think they were right.”

“What?” Shocked doesn’t begin to describe what Alex is feeling. “I mean, are you sure? I only saw you guys together that one time, but you seemed happy…”

Kara rolls so she’s on her stomach - and closer to Alex - and buries her face in her hands. “We _were_. Then I moved out here and, I don’t know.”

Alex hesitates, and then reaches out to lay a comforting hand on Kara’s shoulder. “Relationships go through ups and downs.”

“Alex, I _never_ talked about him.” Kara let’s out a sharp laugh, “and not just with you, but with anyone. I just...I forgot about him so much of the time. It’s horrible.”

It is, though Alex won’t say that out loud. Kara is already feeling bad enough. She drops her hand from Kara’s shoulder. “So what are you going to do?”

Kara stares downward and then rolls back onto her side.

Their legs brush, and Alex realizes that they’re even closer now. She scoots back minutely.

If Kara notices, she doesn’t say anything. She’s picking at the blanket again, and she looks like she’s about to cry.

Alex’s heart lurches, and then she’s leaning forward to hug Kara. “Hey, it’s okay,” she says as she rubs Kara’s back.

Kara’s head is buried against her neck, and soft breaths tickle at her pulse. She ignores the sensation, only wanting to comfort her friend.

“I know what I want to do.” Kara’s voice is muffled by Alex’s neck; Alex has to suppress a shudder when Kara’s lips accidentally brush her skin.

Except they brush her skin again.

Alex jerks back, but there’s not much room to begin with if she doesn’t want to fall from the bed. “Kara?” she asks in a high voice.

“Sorry,” Kara whispers as she brings her head up, only for her attention to focus unerringly on Alex’s lips.

“Kara--”

Alex really doesn’t intend to melt into the kiss. In fact, she has every intent of pushing Kara away. But…

Kara’s lips are soft and Alex is surrounded in her scent, and then Kara is cupping her jaw and pulling her closer and thinking is impossible.

She ends up on her back, with Kara resting above her, arms braced on either side of her shoulders. Her back arches when Kara’s lips trail down her jaw and neck and then back up for another kiss.

Her hands find their ways to Kara’s back, clenched in her shirt as Alex tries to ride out the kiss.

Kara’s leg finds its way between her own, pressing intimately into her core; she jerks her mouth away with a moan. It feels so _incredible_ and--

“Oh god, no. Kara stop. We need to stop.” Her hands do push at Kara’s shoulders now, and she’s relieved when Kara rolls away.

Alex abruptly sits up and buries her face in her hands. She feels like shit.

“Alex,” Kara says. Her hand only rests briefly on Alex’s back before Alex jerks away.

“No!” Alex exclaims, hastily tugging on her shoes and standing. She paces, her hands running through her hair. “You’re engaged, for crying out loud!”

“No, Alex, I’m sorry,” Kara stands, her hands rising in a placating gesture. “I meant to tell you first, but you looked so beautiful and relaxed sleeping there and--”

“Kara!”

“I broke things off with Adam,” Kara rushes out, “weeks ago.”

The churning in Alex’s stomach eases only temporarily. “You’re just telling me now? _After_ kissing me?”

“I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was kind of working things out in my head and, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Kara looks so earnest; Alex has to ignore the fact that her lips are still moist from their kisses.

“I...think I need a little time,” Alex says as she curls her arms protectively around herself. It’s too much to take in at once. She can’t breathe. She stumbles her way to the door.

Kara reaches her just before she opens it.

“Please don’t hate me,” Kara whispers as she wraps her arms around Alex from behind.

Alex squeezes her eyes shut. “I just need to think, Kara. Please.”

Kara nods against her shoulder, and Alex frowns when she feels moisture seep into her shirt. She grabs Kara’s hand before it’s totally pulled away. “I couldn’t hate you if I wanted to. Okay?”

“Okay,” Kara says with a choking laugh as she steps back.

Alex can’t look back, not if she wants to go. She _needs_ to go. “I’ll call you.”

Breathing doesn’t get any easier when she exits the small trailer.

*

Calling Kara ends up not working out the way Alex wants. She picks up her phone many times, but can never manage to dial out. Instead, she eventually finds herself digging through her notebook to find the address Kara had given her some time ago.

Visiting had never seemed safe, but Alex knows she’ll never call and she doesn’t want to torture Kara. She’s been doing that to herself plenty.

The third day after the kiss, Alex musters the courage to drop by Kara’s apartment.

A subdued Kara, barefoot in ripped jeans and a white tank, let’s Alex in without question.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” Alex says as Kara closes the front door. “I wanted to, but I...god. It was too much.”

Kara nods and tucks her hands into her pockets. Her shoulders hunch. She looks smaller somehow. “It’s okay, Alex. I was stupid.”

Alex, who’d been about to continue, snaps her mouth shut. “You were?”

“Yeah.” Kara still won’t look up. “I was rude to you, just kissing you like that. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you feel that way about me, and then all the stuff with Adam.”

A strangled noise escapes Alex’s throat. “Are you serious?”

Alex has gone over this visit in her head a thousand times, has considered all the things she needs to say to Kara. They need to talk. They do.

But looking at Kara is making Alex’s chest ache, and she can’t stand to see the forlorn look. A quick step forward has her in Kara’s personal space, and then she’s cupping Kara’s face with both hands.

She guides Kara to look up, and her breath catches when their eyes meet. “Kara, I _definitely_ feel that way about you.”

Kara’s lips part, and _not_ kissing her simply isn’t an option.

Alex intends for it to be quick and reassuring, but then she’s swept away in the moment.

It isn’t until her back is pressed to the door and Kara’s mouth is on her neck that she remembers they still need to talk.

“Kara,” she says breathlessly.

Kara presses a last soft kiss to her jaw and then half pulls back. “We need to talk,” Kara says, looking sheepish. Her cheeks her flushed and her eyes seem to sparkle, and her lips are slightly swollen.

“Yes,” Alex breathes out with wide eyes, “and I really need you to back away if we’re going to actually do that.”

Kara’s laugh makes Alex’s skin tingle, and she feels dazed as Kara’s hand sweeps down her arm to curl their fingers together. “Let’s talk.”

*

It’s embarrassing at first, discussing the feelings Alex has been warring with for months, but in her defense she really hadn’t known Kara wasn’t single the entire time.

Kara waves her guilt away, her face flushed as she admits that maybe she _had_ been flirting without thinking.

“And then we had to film that kiss and...you _kissed_ me right before I had to go on set. I hadn’t really consciously thought about it before, and my mind was blank.” She glances away. “That last take the director loved? I thought about you. That’s when I realized I needed to break things off with Adam.”

She bites her lip and looks back at Alex. “That’s when I realized that I was probably kind of in love with you.”

“Oh,” Alex says. What else can she say? They haven’t been out on a proper date - even if she’d kind of thought a few of their previous excursions _had_ been before, it’s not the same.

“Should I have not said that?” Kara asks as she slightly shifts away from Alex and crosses her arms.

“I, oh, I don’t know,” Alex stutters out, “I haven’t done this quite this way before. I...feel very deeply about you too, Kara, but,” she straightens and takes Kara’s hand.

Kara hesitantly meets her eyes.

“I want to date you properly with no misunderstandings, okay?” Alex admits.

When Kara smiles, Alex forgets everything else but how _happy_ she looks.

“I’d love that.” Kara has a moment of shyness, and Alex takes her hand.

“Will you go out with me tonight, Kara?”

“Yes,” comes the exuberant reply. Kara laughs and crosses her legs. “Tonight? I want to kiss you again.”

Alex freezes. “We can negotiate some pre-date kisses.”

Kara laughs again and pulls Alex closer.


	2. Holiday Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ♪ There's no place like home for the holidays ♪

* * *

Alex sighs when she steps into her apartment, glad to be home even though she’d enjoyed spending Christmas back in Midvale with her family.

She smiles when she remembers Kim revealing a pregnancy nearly to the second trimester, and the tears Hank had tried very poorly to hide.

Tanya had teased him endlessly about it (and his old age), with both Jeremiah and Eliza laughing at the small family’s antics. Hank hadn’t been the same since losing his wife some years back, but Kim and Tanya never failed to bring life to every party. The holiday had been just about perfect, Alex had to admit.

There had only been one thing missing. Well, one _person_.

She’s just begun tugging her coat off when her phone rings. The display fills her with joy. It’s a picture of Kara, sleepy and smiling from one lazy Sunday morning.

“Kara,” she says with a happy sigh as she answers. They’ve only been dating two and a half months, but Alex already knows she’s in love. She’d been more than a little in love before they’d even gone out on their first date.

“ _Alex_.” Kara sounds happy, but reserved. “ _How was your flight?_ ”

“You know, the usual. I’m glad it was only a few hours long.” Alex pauses and nibbles at the inside of her cheek. “You sound a little off. Is something wrong?”

For a moment she only hears the sound of Kara breathing. “ _I have to cancel tomorrow night._ ”

Disappointment washes over Alex. Her throat works a few times before she manages to respond. “Oh.”

Her shoulders hunch as she tries not to think about all the small things she’d been looking forward to. Holding Kara’s hand, sipping sparkling white grape juice and watching the yearly countdown--kissing at midnight. It was no big deal.

“ _I’m so sorry_ ,” Kara hurries to explain, “ _but you know my agent has been going a little crazy ever since...well._ ”

Alex’s lips purse. Kara’s agent hadn’t taken the news well that not only had Kara broken off her engagement to the handsome and charming Adam, but she’d begun dating _Alex_.

“ _Jodi Foster, not Ellen DeGeneres_ ,” _the domineering woman says almost immediately_. “ _You’re still too new to come out on the cover of any magazines. People are already talking about your role on the show. You need a beard._ ”

Thankfully, Kara had at least put a stop to that, but…

Still.

It’s not that Alex had expected Kara to risk her entire career on their fledgling romance or anything. She understood how fickle the public could be. She just hadn’t liked how quickly Kara had buckled to the suggestion to keep their romance hidden.

“Yeah, I know.” Alex’s voice is thick. She wants to say more, but she can’t.

“ _I’ll come over tonight_.” Kara sounds almost desperate.

It makes a small smile finally pull at Alex’s lips. It’s been nearly a week since they’ve seen each other in person, what with Kara having only just returned from Kansas herself.

They’d been able to part knowing that they’d at least have New Year’s Eve together.

Alex sucks in a low breath and grips her phone. She’d known dating Kara wouldn’t be easy - though _dating_ Kara had proved to be exceptionally easy. “I’d like that.”

A muffled sound comes through the phone then.

“ _I’m so glad you’re not angry. God, I’ve missed you. I--you know what. Cat can stuff it. I’m skipping the rest of my day. I’ll be over soon._ ”

If Alex were an unselfish person, she might caution Kara against casting off her obligations. However when it comes to spending time with Kara, Alex allows herself to be as selfish as she wants. “Great.”

*

They snuggle and kiss throughout the day, watching bad movies and ordering takeout. It might have surprised Alex once just how well they _click_ , but it doesn’t now. Kara’s phone remains off.

“I love this place,” Kara says with a happy sigh as she tucks her head against Alex’s neck.

Alex lips upturn without a thought. “Good. I love having you here.”

Kara murmurs something noncommittal and snuggles closer.

Alex’s smile widens so much it almost hurts. “Charmer,” she teases.

“Mm. Play your cards right and I could show you just how charming I can be.” The effect the words might otherwise have on Alex is lost somewhat as Kara stretches and groans.

“Comfy?” Alex asks once Kara’s half-draped over her lap a scant few seconds later.

“I am, actually.” Kara grins up at Alex. “You know, I never did thank you.”

Alex raises an eyebrow and begins playing with Kara’s hair. “For what?”

“Making sure my first kiss with a woman was with you,” Kara admits with the tiniest of smiles.

“Well, you know,” Alex reaches up to tuck some hair behind an ear. She moistens her lips and finally looks back at Kara. “It was actually selfish of me. I’d been kind of in love with you for a while.”

“I’m glad you were selfish.” Kara’s voice is low, and then she’s leaning up on an elbow while she simultaneously tugs on Alex’s collar.

Alex doesn’t resist the motion, nor anything that comes after.

*

They usher in New Year's Eve in bed, too enraptured with each other to notice the time or anything other than how utterly incredible it feels to lie skin against skin.

Alex is glad they’d forgotten to turn the lights off as she admires how lovely Kara looks with mussed hair and swollen lips. She bites her lip and turns away.

“It’s three in the morning,” Alex declares when she fumbles around the nightstand and manages to find her phone. Her voice is rough from thirst and other things, but she still bites her lip when Kara’s nails scrape lightly over her shoulder blade.

“I told you I missed you,” Kara says, sounding far too pleased with herself.

Alex suppresses a shiver when Kara plants a series of tender kisses along her spine. “I thought you wanted me to bring us food.”

“I do,” Kara murmurs between kisses.

Just as Alex is about to warn her that she’ll never be able to leave bed like this, the kisses stop. Alex sighs at the loss but stands. “If only the world knew what a truly cruel woman you are,” Alex jests as she blindly tugs a discarded shirt on over her head.

Kara’s laughter follows her out of the room.

She smiles while she collects the remnants of their takeout - Chinese from Kara’s favorite place, of course - and settles them along with two tall glasses of water onto a tray.

“Your food, m’lady,” Alex announces as she returns to the room.

Kara grins and sits up, not bothering to tug the sheets up.

Alex shakes her head and mutters under her breath. She accepts a grateful kiss from Kara before they settle down to eat.

“Oh, Annie messaged me,” Alex says some time later as she finishes chewing on a mouthful of noodles.

“Did she?” Kara almost sounds smug.

Alex frowns and opens the message, her face clearing up as she reads. “Kara.”

“Hm?” Kara gives Alex an innocent look as she eats the last potsticker.

“Isn’t this invitation to the party Cat’s making you go to?” Alex holds up her phone for Kara to see, though Kara’s grin says enough for itself.

Kara puts her fork down, suddenly looking vulnerable. “I can’t stand the thought of not being with you on New Year’s. I _promised_. And I know it’s not the same as what we had planned, but I--”

The words are halted by Alex’s sudden kiss, but Kara looks blissful as it ends.

“Thanks.” Alex isn’t sure how she would have felt sitting home alone knowing that Kara would be out in a fancy evening gown at a big party, no doubt with some handsome date Cat had been all too eager to set up.

“You’ll wear that dress we picked out?” Kara asks, biting at her lower lip.

A slow smile grows on Alex’s face. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

She laughs when Kara pounces on her, nearly upsetting their tray of mostly eaten food, and not caring.

*****

“Alex,” Annie says with a smile, one hand holding the door wider, “come in. I’m so glad you could make it on such short notice. I would have sent an invitation sooner, but I was under the impression that you had plans.”

The knowing twinkle in Annie’s eyes has Alex smiling. Really, agreeing to work on the show had been a great decision, and not just because of the developments with Kara.

“Luckily, you’re one of the sharpest people I know. You saved me a solo evening of moping.” Alex steps inside the luxurious home, not surprised at the tasteful decor or sizeable crowd.

“That would have been a shame. You look amazing in that dress. I know you’ll turn heads.” Annie smiles warmly, one hand briefly squeezing Alex’s bicep.

Alex tilts her head, pleased with the compliment. The clingy black dress with the tasteful green straps and bodice trim had been one of Kara’s suggestions. Though Alex had liked how it fit, it had been the way Kara looked at her in it that had her purchasing the evening attire immediately.

“You look as incredible as always yourself, Annie,” Alex says with another head tilt. Annie does look amazing in a perfectly pressed slacks and a satin cream shell top, her long dark hair in loose curls around her face.

Annie gives her a wink. “Careful, you might start giving people ideas.”

Alex laughs; Annie has been in a committed relationship with the same person for nearly twenty years. Her relationship is the stuff of legend around set. “We wouldn’t want that.”

“Come on, let me show you around. You’ll know some of the people here, though not quite everyone that RSVP’d is here.” Annie reaches out to rest a hand lightly against Alex’s upper back, guiding the way further into the house.

It’s clear that Annie is confirming that Kara hasn’t arrived yet--something Alex appreciates, though she’s aware of. She and Kara had spoken on the phone as much as possible, even with Kara’s agent haranguing her in the background.

Cat hadn’t been happy with Kara’s disappearing act the previous day. Alex considered it fair since she hadn’t been happy with Cat, either.

Annie’s home is nice, and as always the EP is right. There are lots of familiar faces from set, and she smiles when she spots Winn and James near one of the many standing tables dispersed throughout the large dining area. The season is wrapped, and maybe she’s missed conversing with them just a bit.

“So glad you came!” Winn greets her with a large grin and a raising of his glass.

“You’ve got to try the food,” James says once they’ve shared a quick hug. “Annie went all out.”

“I will.” Alex chuckles, feeling relaxed. Though she’d only met with the writers once a week, she’d ended up on set plenty. The cast and crew are a little like family, one that she’s actually pretty happy to see.

“How was your Christmas, Alex?” James asks once they’ve set her up with a drink and a plate of tasty hors d'oeuvres.

“Well…” Alex is lost in conversation for the next half hour. So much so that she almost misses Kara’s entrance. Almost.

But, it’s really hard for her to ignore Kara in a long blue gown that drapes perfectly over her figure - or the entirely-too-familiar man that’s come as her date.

Alex swallows and looks away. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“Oh, uh, just down the hall there and to the right,” Winn helpfully supplies.

Alex nods and hurries down the hall. Kara hadn’t told her that _Adam_ would be her date for the night. It was...kind of a big deal, wasn’t it?

She’s relieved to find no line at the bathroom - a miracle considering the number of people attending the party - and immediately locks herself inside.

She just needs a minute to...to breathe. Alex knows that she and Kara have a solid relationship, and she knows that Kara loves her.

But, still. Kara and Adam had been in a relationship for _over five years_ before Alex had come along. She swallows down the bile that rises at the thought. She’d never felt good about being a catalyst in breaking apart such a relationship. Kara had told her many times that things were probably going to end anyway, but Alex still can’t totally put aside that guilt.

She’d been on the other end of something like that, after all, and she knows how much it hurts.

The bathroom is elegant, she notes as she tries to regain her composure. Marble and stone with subtle silver accents, but not garish or unsightly. Alex takes a breath and leans down to splash some water on her face.

A moment after she begins patting her face dry, there’s a light tapping on the door. She curses internally. “Just a minute.”

“Alex?” comes the muffled response.

Alex’s mouth goes dry, her heart thumping. She clumsily replaces the hand towel to its ring to fumble with the door. “Kara?” She sounds far too breathy for her liking, but it can’t be helped.

Kara’s hair is down and framing her face, which is brushed with only enough makeup to emphasize Kara’s natural beauty.

Then Kara smiles, and Alex forgets everything else.

“James told me where to find you,” Kara explains as she steps into the small space, softly shutting the door behind her.

The rest of the world comes crashing in on Alex then, a reminder that it’s not one just made up of her and Kara. She crosses her arms out of reflex, swallowing down her initial response of anger.

“So, you came with Adam, huh?” She tries for nonchalant and fails.

“I’m so sorry,” Kara says, stepping closer and cautiously bringing her hands to rest on Alex’s upper arms, “it was Cat’s idea.”

Alex bites her lip and nods. “Of course.” She looks away. “Did you know he was in town?”

“I-uh, well, kind of?” She can hear Kara fidgeting with her gown. “Um, it isn’t really my place to say but I...uh. Cat is his biological mother.” The last is said in a rush.

It takes Alex precious seconds to process. “ _What_? Don’t you think that’s kind of a big detail to leave out? Don’t you think that maybe, _maybe_ that’s a little bit of a conflict of interest?”

Kara frowns. “No. Cat is a professional, she wouldn’t let personal fee…” But Kara can’t complete the thought, having shared far too many anecdotes about the mercurial woman. She shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot, her face pinched with anxiety.

Alex takes in a slow breath and lets it out. She hadn’t meant to lash out. They’re supposed to have a good time tonight. It isn’t the time for this conversation, as much as they need to have it. “No, I’m sorry. I was just caught off guard. You didn’t tell me _he_ ’d be your date.”

Kara’s head ducks down, and she moves so their bodies are pressed together, taking both of Alex’s hands into her own. “I’m sorry too. I should have warned you, but I kind of chickened out. I just wanted you to come so badly and I--”

“I love you,” Alex breathes out as she closes her eyes and slumps her head forward to rest against the exposed skin of Kara’s shoulder. “Maybe too much.”

“Never too much,” Kara whispers.

When Alex looks up, it feels like her heart stutters in her chest. That look is always her undoing; devotion, trust, and pure adoration.

Alex bites her lip and takes a step backward. “We should get out of here or I’m going to ruin our makeup.”

Kara laughs and warm tingles erupt over Alex’s skin.

“Later,” Kara replies with a grin. She turns to open the door, one hand still clinging to Alex’s as she leads the way out of the small space.

*

The night goes on, and as midnight approaches, Alex is surprised to discover that she _is_ having a good time. She laughs with James and Winn, and Kara’s eyes find her own several times as the evening progresses.

It’s a comfort, getting those looks even with Adam hardly ever an arm's length from Kara.

Alex even indulges in a glass of champagne, the bubbles tickling pleasantly at her lips as she nurses it.

As the night draws closer to the new year, it serves as an easy distraction. She’s aware of Kara across the room, and dreads what might happen once the clock strikes twelve. Though Alex knows Kara wouldn’t initiate a kiss Adam of her own volition, she worries that maybe Adam has other ideas.

Sneaking a New Year’s kiss might seem romantic to certain people.

Alex takes a larger sip of her champagne. Winn has collected tiny glittery hats and glasses, and has forced one each on James, proudly wearing his own as the countdown is about to begin.

She smiles briefly, trying to ignore the tension that’s gathered in her chest.

It’s hard not to look back towards Kara, but she’s determined not to. She can almost picture Cat waiting in the wings, phone in hand ready to snap the candid shot of Adam and Kara sharing a kiss for the tabloids.

“10,” Winn near-shouts as the digital numbers tick down on the large screen TV.

“9,” James joins in grudgingly, a smile on his face.

“8,” Alex mutters as she curls an arm protectively over her stomach. It roils and clenches.

_7_ , Alex’s shoulders tense.

_6_ , her mind goes foggy.

_5_ , she tries desperately to think only of the previous night.

_4_ , breathing becomes difficult.

_3_ , Alex realizes she really doesn’t want to be here.

_2_ , there’s a tapping on her shoulder.

_1_ , the number hardly has time to register when she realizes that Kara’s standing in front of her.

The cheers around her, the fireworks on display outside the building and on the TV mean nothing to Alex, because Kara’s lips are on her own and she can only melt into the feel of the familiar body.

In another life, perhaps Alex would worry and pull away, but the kiss goes on as she cups Kara’s face, reveling in the feel of Kara’s warm hands on her hips.

“I love you,” Kara says lowly as she brings her forehead to rest against Alex’s. Their chests are heaving as they try to catch their breath, and Alex can only smile.

Their connection had come so suddenly, so seemingly out of nowhere, but Alex feels its pull as a natural law of science. She feels that in any world, in any universe, she will always be bound to heed its call. She revels in the feeling.

“Cat’s going to throw a fit.” She tilts her head upward and tucks some hair behind Kara’s ear.

“Oh, well,” Kara says with a shrug. “You wore the dress.”

Alex tosses her head back in laughter, her body thrumming as Kara leans in closer to brush a chaste kiss under her jaw.

“Come on,” Kara says as she reaches for Alex’s hand, “we should go thank Annie for inviting us to the party.”

“Yeah,” Alex agrees as she accepts the hand. Nothing has ever felt as right and natural as the contact. “Sounds good to me.”

They share a smile before turning to try and navigate through the crowd.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks go out to my writing-partner-in-crime, Cherry. JT egged me on rather (un)helpfully this go around as well, that ragamuffin.


End file.
